2. Go to the nearest supermarket and get a scale that does BIA (Bio-Electrical Impedance Analysis). These scales range from about 35-60 bucks.
3. Weigh yourself, but focus on body fat percentage!
Your weight will ALWAYS jump week to week…depending on hydration…what you ate the day before..hell if you went to the bathroom recently..your body fat is a much stabler number, and something that is far more important!
So I am slightly stressed out about money. I am laid off next week and it means whenever I get money for from the state it will be significantly less than my wage.That will suck.
Still I decided it was time to give back, so I signed up for Big Brothers/Big Sisters. I have an interview at the end of the next week. I am a bit nervous because growing up I had few good male role models.
I also signed up for ImAlive online crisis center. They have a TON of classes and a certification which I am excited about. Not that the certification will help me for my job or anything but because it will be an accomplishment.
I just feel that I have to STFU and give back. Not talking about giving back but actually doing it. I have been through a lot in my life. A big part of my life, over ten years, I was terribly depressed. I didn’t feel like I had anyone to turn too. Of course I did, but I felt like I didn’t. So I struggled and I hate the idea of other people struggling.
I am finally getting over my Mono. Whoo hoo the kissing disease! So tonight I am going for coffee with a friend and I am hitting the gym hard. I missed the gym. I missed the perspective that lifting heavy shit gives you. I miss waking up sore. I would rather wake up sore from a good workout than next to the prettiest girl in the world. Of course, the trick is waking up next to the prettiest girl in the world who you worked out with…but that is a different tumblr post on a different blog!
“That’s probably because I’m Jewish. In our religion, we don’t consider a fetus to be viable until after it’s graduated from medical school.”—Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz explains her bafflement over the birth control debate at the Gridiron Dinner. (via washingtonpoststyle)
I could give a fuck less if your talking about Jesus, Mohammed, the Pope, Politics, the Economy or Race.
If you speak in sound bites you are speaking bullshit. A sound bite is created to end a conversation, not fuel one. You do no respect to your fellow man by speaking in carefully constructed sound bites.
The truth is a messy, filthy, beautiful thing. Live it.
Went to see The Hunger Games midnight on Friday with a good friend of mine. We aren’t dating, or even romantically interested in each other but she got very sleepy as we were waiting for the movie to start. She wrapped her arms around my bicep to cuddle into me/rest her head against my shoulder. Her first reaction on touching my bicep was a slight yelp and an incredulous look. I am hardly ripped, or even in all that good shape…but it was one of the best feelings I have had in a very long time. The surprise and the huge smile she got on her face. I am not some prissy pretty boy, or some lazy video game nerd…I am a man.
Finally went to the ER and got real medicine. Hopefully by Monday-Tuesday I will be able to return to the gym. I have been missing it. I am sure some of my weights dropped. I haven’t been able to eat much. We will see! Wish me luck!
I really need to be in bed. I am fairly drunk right now. I don’t even know why. I just started drinking. I am not particularly upset. I just missed feeling stupid I suppose. I have a few fingers of whiskey and a couple of beers. I am a light weight now. Not that it is a bad thing.
These past few weeks or so it feels like my passion is a constant liability. I hate the fact I feel like I am always wrong. Sometimes I think my wrongness does not come from truth but the fact I will admit my errors. I am not afraid to admit I am stupid and a little bit crazy. The more passionate I feel about being right, usually the more wrong I get. Or maybe it is just lack of conviction that makes me cave? I need to figure it out. Or I need to just keep letting my luck run out.
Why do I care so much about other peoples happiness?
I feel like I need to talk to other people who beat depression. I just feel like I have been through the worst shit possible, and if I survived it…no one can touch me..nothing can touch me. No pain is worse than the shit I found an excuse to do to myself. The fact I let myself believe I was nothing. I let myself believe I was scum. I let myself believe I was better off dead. That is such bullshit.
But now I have that fire. That fire that tells me that nothing can touch me. That I don’t have to blink. That if I survived that? That this, whatever it is before me, is absolutely nothing. It is bullshit. It is inconsequential. That knowledge is supremely comforting.
I loaded my hiking backpack up today and hiked about 6 miles I think. My legs are burning. I had about 50lbs of weight on my back. Still it was peaceful. Despite the fact the frame of my pack has this infuriating squeak. I need to find out what that was. I missed walking. Even before when I hiked I always brought my dSLR. This time I didn’t bother. The art of getting lost. The relative silence of it all. It was intoxicating. It was all the motivation I needed.
Tomorrow I work. I got to the gym first. Run a few errands but I am back at work. For better or worse. Life is strange. But beautiful.
Sorry for another night of randomness. My mind is getting lost.